We hope you have found this programme useful and insightful. More importantly, we hope you feel a little more confident and competent to respond to one of the most demanding situations – the death of a baby or child.

It is for you to reflect on what you have learned, and what you are going to do differently in future. Remember there is a bank of helpful information for you and for families on Child Bereavement UK’s website www.childbereavementuk.org and you can always call our helpline in confidence on 01494 568900 – or refer families to the line – for guidance and support.

In a moment you’ll have a chance to review the notes you have been taking at the end of each module. Before you do that, here is a summary of  the most important feedback that parents have given Child Bereavement UK:

Do

  • Let parents be with their child. Remember brothers and sisters
  • Treat parents equally, and involve them in important decisions
  • Recognise that men and women often react differently
  • Refer to the child by name
  • Be factual
  • Tell the truth – and be honest about what you don’t know
  • Respect the fact that parents’ sense of duty to their child continues after death
  • Give parents permission to express their feelings
  • Allow time for parents to ask questions
  • Check that parents have understood what you have told them – clarify medical jargon
  • Enquire about the parents’ beliefs, what they need, what may be available
  • Reassure parents that their child’s body will be treated with respect and dignity during the post-mortem examination, and that nothing can be retained without their consent
  • Agree with parents when and where they will see you or a consultant again
  • Give parents your name and contact details in writing
  • Explain where support is available once back in the community and any available ongoing support from the hospital, local/national bereavement services/helplines and so on.

Don’t

  • Hurry parents
  • “Protect” them from what is happening
  • Hide your emotions from parents
  • Assume that parents will understand everything you say or do: you’ll sometimes have to repeat the same explanation several different times 
  • Assume that families know that everything possible has been done… if you don’t tell them
  • Use medical jargon
  • “Hit and run”
  • Assume there is a right way to grieve.

If you want to print the above reminders, click the button below:

When a new tab or window opens, confirm the print process. It could take a few moments for the page to open…